Take a look at that smile!
I seriously don’t know how she got to be such a big girl. Seems like just yesterday I was grunting on the edge of my bed and cursing the world
She’s pretty much the happiest baby in existence. Right now, she’s snuggled up next to me snoring away…she caught big brother’s cold so she won’t leave my side. Even through the snots and the coughing she is laughing and playing. My little miracle baby.
We’re going to have some serious talk before I get to the fun baby stuff.
I abandoned the blog (again), but I had my reasons. I am dealing with post partum depression. I’m saying it. I can do that now. It was a long time to accepting it, but I am. I bottomed out and got help and I’m working so hard. I know no one reads this, but on the off chance that another mom stumbles upon this and is reluctant to get help, let me just say this:
Its not your fault. You are a good mom. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
As mothers, we beat ourselves up over every little thing so its no wonder that when you start to feel not in control or those baby blues sink into something more, we panic and then blame ourselves even more. Please don’t. Every new mom has to deal with a slew of hormones that can go off the wall. I’ll admit it, I was embarrassed. I pride myself on being a totally involved mom and my family is my life…so when I could barely drag myself out of bed, when laundry piled up, when dinner wasn’t made I was just ashamed that I wasn’t taking care of things. That I wasn’t being the mom I should be. It only made the PPD symptoms worse. I was worried that if I went to a doctor, they would give me meds and make me stop breastfeeding and frankly, that was the one thing that I could do that made me feel good. I didn’t want to risk losing that.
There are options. So many options. There are meds you can take that won’t effect your milk supply. There are supplements you can take if you prefer homeopathics and herbs. Don’t underestimate the power of talking with a therapist or counselor. People love you. You’re not alone. You can do this.
I’m not perfect, but I’m ok with that. I’m not 100% better, but I’m working on it. We’ll get through it
Here are some helpful links if you or someone you know is dealing with postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety:
Postpartum Support International http://www.postpartum.net
Postpartum Dads http://www.postpartumdads.org
Postpartum Progress http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english
There comes a point in ones life when you have realizations…
Like when you’re nearly topless from a marathon cluster feeding session holding your baby that is currently dressed in a fitted cloth diaper and baby legs, inhaling the top of your baby’s head because it smells like coconut oil and lavender oil while looking at webpages for amber necklaces and woven wraps for babywearing that were linked in your homebirth discussion group…
Its moments like these that you realize, yep. I’m one of THOSE moms.
Crunchy mom power!!!!
Soooo I love my diapers. I have all sorts…prefolds, pockets, fitteds, AIO. You know what else I love? Diaper affiliate programs. I can earn gift certificates when people buy using my link. I LOVE my Diaper Safari pockets even more then the Fuzzibunz and Bum Genius 4.0s. Frankly, they keep her drier, are SUPER soft, and the microfiber insert holds a LOT. Love the choice of colors, too. The cross-over snaps make them fit skinnier babes and the overall dipe is just soft and not stiff (BG feel so bulky in comparison). Oh, and did I mention that they are very inexpensive? $13.95/diaper is standard, but they have sales OFTEN. Prices get marked down to $8.95 or BOGO…and ALWAYS free shipping! What? Oh thats right
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love all my dipes, but I wanted to let you know WHY I like my Diaper Safari ones before shamelessly putting a link up here. So, without further ado…
Pics from the birth! None during since it went so fast Here’s one taken a few days before she was born.
Huge! And then…we got to meet our little girl!
Check out the moudling on that noggin!
She was a hefty girl. No wonder it felt like I was carrying a bowling ball in my pelvis those last few days.
Big brother got to help our midwife with the newborn exam. He was totally in awe of his baby sister…
Giving his sister her first “bath”. Soo much vernix in her hair!
Loving on the girl.
Hello world. Introducing Emma Rose.
Baby Emma is doing awesome. Her umbilical stump fell off this evening and she had a checkup with the pediatrician. All is perfect, she is gaining back weight at a little over an ounce per day! The power of breastmilk Also, only 6lbs left until my pre-preg weight. Whoohoo.
Babymoon? Maybe. I don’t know or care what name people call it, but its bliss.
I’m so in love with this little girl and my family.